Be Better
by FunkyIsMyMiddleName
Summary: This is a guide that will help you be even more FABULOUS of a writer than you already are. Do yourself a favor and read.
1. Introduction

INTRODUCTION:

The following guide is meant to better its readers' writing skills. It will include tips, PERSONAL preferences, and cold, hard, slap-in-the-face TRUTH about the quality of our Maximum Ride Fanfiction Community (MRFC). Some of the views displayed in the following fanfiction are unique to me, but as a writer, you must take it upon yourself to think: "if one person thinks it, then more people probably think this too".

I am not saying that _I_ am a perfect writer, I'm far from it, but I have been a dedicated reader of fanfictions and I honestly know that this can benefit others A LOT.

That being said, I will be welcoming any other viewer's opinion on what I am writing. Tell me if you think my suggestions are straight-forward true, somewhat relatable, or if you think that I am downright WRONG. I want to learn just as much as you do.

I feel that it is my responsibility, as a member of the MRFC to try to help others with their writing, if not, then to just (hopefully) provide entertainment to those who think I'm a, how you say, nut-job.


	2. Back to Basics

GET DOWN TO THE BASICS!

You may look at the heading above and be compelled to just skip this chapter thinking, 'pshhhh, I already know this!' but I'll be darned if you don't learn something, or at least _refresh your mind_.

First things first.

The dreaded….SPELLING AND GRAMMAR! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I cannot stress enough just _how important_ it is to not only spell words correctly, but to use them properly. For example, I am in the middle of reading a fanfiction right now, and I absolutely adore this author's plot and character development (to be discussed in further chapters), but I am driven INSANE by their spelling and misuse of words. And when I read their profiles, they claim to be in sophomore year of high school or older. IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY USE 'THEIR', 'THEY'RE', OR 'THERE' BY HIGH SCHOOL, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING FOR YA. To review:

THEIR: shows possession to a plural group of nouns. ex: THEIR dog is very cute.

THEY'RE: combines the two words 'they' and 'are' together (if you don't know what those words mean, you shouldn't be writing fanfiction): so in short, if you wouldn't put 'they are' where you put 'they're' you SHOULD'NT USE IT! ex: THEY'RE going to go crazy because of how cute that dog is.

THERE: refers to a specific place, usually where a specific object is. ex: They skipped over THERE.

Those are only the most common words, but there are many more homonyms such as pair and pear, plain and plane, course and coarse, ant and aunt, bore and boar, you're and your, brake and break, etc.

**TIP:** if you type your stories on a computer, USE SPELLCHECK! It's there for a reason! No one wants to read a fanfiction that has too many spelling errors.

**NOTE: **if you feel like you use the same word to much, like you say ' dark ' excessively, use that handy-dandy right click (on PC's) while highlighting the word, and hover over 'synonyms', it'll give you words with the same meanings, like dim, shadowy, shady, gloomy, murky, sinister, and evil. BUT BEWARE! Make sure you know what you want the word to mean, because dark like black and dark like evil are completely different.

And now….SENTENCE STRUCTURE! Eeeeww…..

You, and, I, both, know, that, your, sentences, should, not, look, like, this. If you find that you hit the comma button more than 5 FRAKING TIMES in a sentence (unless you're listing something)then you may want to read over your sentence and see if you can slit up the sentence into two, without making a fragment or phrase (you know when you're on spell check and it says Fragment {consider revising}? Yeah, that)

**TIP: **If you have trouble deciding where to put a comma, try reading the sentence out loud, and see where you naturally pause while speaking

On a different note, if you find you're making a really long sentence, you may be creating something we Americans (and I'm pretty sure everyone else, correct me if I'm wrong) call a run-on sentence. The only time you should be creating one of these, is if you are trying to write dialogue for nudge and you feel it will help develop character. If you are unfamiliar with run-on sentences they look something like this because they have little to no commas and they usually have the word and in here more than one time and they don't sound natural and you feel weird typing it.

Going back to the fragments and phrases, A good thing to keep in mind is that you're sentence should have a complete subject (noun) and a predicate (the verb, adjectives, anything BUT the noun)

Hey, at least it's _me_ telling you this stuff and not you're teacher, yeah, you know the one that spits a lot when they're talking? Yeah, that one.


	3. SUMMARIES YES, SUMMARIES

(**A/N I really appreciate the reviews! Thanks FangIsFexellent and shadowgirl1711)**

This chapter is going to tackle something EVERYONE struggles with.

SUMMARIES

Some techniques for summarizing:

You have to keep 4 things in mind when you create a summary.

1) make yourself sound as good as possible

Now let me first just tell you that writing 'sorry I suck at summaries, the story is better tho!' does not excuse you from your summary being…well, _bad_. Merely typing that your story is better than your summary is not terribly convincing. Now repeat after me: I WILL NOT PROMOTE HOW BAD I AM. Yeah? You said it? I don't believe you. ACTUALLY SAY IT THIS TIME! I WILL NOT PROMOTE HOW BAD I AM. Eh…could have been louder… I don't care if you failed 3rd grade reading and can't spell the word 'good' for your life, you SHOULD, no, CAN NOT MAKE YOURSELF SOUND (for lack of a better term, and also quite frankly)STUPID. Now think; What are the best characteristics of you're writing style? Showcase it: If you have a way of creating a painting with words, or blasting a gut-busting joke out of solemn ideas, lead onto that in your summary. If you immediately tell them that you are bad at, essentially, _writing,_ then your story is immediately skipped by at least 30% of your potential readers, only to be lost as they scroll down the page, searching for another story. Like any knight in shining armor will tell you, you must _FIGHT FOR YOUR MAIDEN! _But in your case, you're maiden is you're reader. YOU'VE GOTTA WAANT IIITTT!

2) What makes your story any better/different than any other fanfiction?

Remember that you want to make your story as interesting as possible. And for GOODNESS'S SAKE pleeeeeease don't write 'Max moved to a new city, she meets fang, and they fall in love!' I kid you not, I have actually seen people write summaries almost exactly like that. The following section is about how quote 'no OCs are ever original and how no one wants to read yet another all-human AU' end quote (from FangIsFexellent) HOWEVER this does not mean that a cliché story you may have written is unsavable. A great example of someone putting their own twist on a cliché is the story School Days by TMI because she appealed to the rather large audience of soccer-lovers. Her story is quite great, you might wanna check it out.

3)What is your story about?

I think that's all to be said. If you don't know what you're story is about, you can't make a good summary. As simple as that.

**NOTE: **A good summary will be able to tell the reader roughly what the story is about, while still leaving the reader wanting to learn more.

4)catch the reader's attention ASAP!

as I'm sure you know, a summary is meant to grab the reader's attention and make them _want to read what you are saying_. So, use creative language, make an original title, and for the love of all that is good in this world, end with a cliffhanger!

**Note: ** a cliffhanger is NOT simply typing: What will happen next? You have to pull the reader in to not only want, but to _need_ to know the answer to your question.

**MAJOR OPINION ON FAX vs. MANG**

I honestly don't care, just please, I don't need the words: faxness, faxyness, or fffffaaaaaaxxxxxxxxx! To be in ALL CAPS or even used. You only have…what, like 255 limit to words or something like that? Make those letters count!

**(A/NI have gotten some pms and reviews, and I see that this fanfiction is appreciated, but it is up to ****you guys**** to spread the word about becoming a better writer. Now I'm not saying you should post a url to my story on their page, but kindly tell a fellow writer when/where they are struggling!)**

BETTER STORIES=HAPPIER **MRFC**


	4. you asked for it, so here it is PLOT

**(A/N I am now aware that I have made a typo on chapter 2, by saying 'you're' instead of properly using 'your'. I have been attempting to edit the chapter, but fanfiction is being a meanie and won't let me edit the chapter unless I delete all of the other ones. I apologize for my mistake, but hey, I never said I was perfect! Thank you to my reviewers FancyPenguin, shadowgirl1171, FangIsFexellent, and WingedArcher1!)**

IT IS TIME. This chapter, upon popular demand (kinda), will be tackling the subject of PLOT AND CLICHÉ'S. I know I touched on this in previous chapters, but I really would like to emphasize how critical original plots are to the ultimate goal: a happier MRFC.

The basic plotline to almost ALL all-human, overused stories, is this; Max moves to a new town (usually in Arizona), she's the loner at a high school, until she meets Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, etc. and tells off school slut Lissa. Fang is this mysterious guy that Max notices in a two paragraph gush about how he's 'SOOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAAAAAAWT HE HAS AN EIGHT-PACK AND HIS ONYX (for some reason it's always onyx!) EYES ARE SOOOOOOO DEEP AND MYSTIFYING!' Then Max meets Fang, they fall in love, and they live happily ever after. Something probably happens after that, but let's face it; no one actually reads much after that.

**NOTE: **I SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SUMMARIZE about 60+% of fanfictions so descriptively in one paragraph!

Some authors choose to 'switch it up' by instead of having max move to a new place; she is brutally abused by Jeb (her father/stepdad) or Dylan, her foul, obnoxious player of a boyfriend. Notice how 'switch it up' is in quotations, because it _does not _make it different in any way.

I'm sure anyone who has ever gone on Maximum Ride fanfiction has seen one of these stories. So much so, because of that and because a new MR hasn't come out in a while (which we can't control) that I feel if some of us were asked to summarize specific books in the MR series, we would be a bit vague. We, as authors, have to remember the definition of FANFICTION. (Courtesy of )

1.

Fanfiction

N.

A piece of fiction within a fandom utilizing characters and situations from a pre-existing work including (but not limited to) books, television programs, films, and comic strips.

Typically separated into het, slash, and general genres. (Do you know what that is? cuz I sure don't) Often used to play out AU scenarios and/or various romantic pairings not found in the original work.

**NOTE:** AU stands for ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, and OC stands for ORIGINAL CHARACTER, the plot and characters above are NOT ORIGINAL; they are overused, and quite bluntly _boring._

Remember what Maximum Ride is about? Here's a refresher: A group of kids with WINGS who are on the run from EVIL SCIENTISTS and MUTNANT WOLVES. I don't know about you, but that gives A LOT of wiggle room in terms of creating 'original content'. I'm not trying to persuade you to write another Maximum Ride novel, but, seriously, what are you adding to the MRFC by making _yet another _AU, OC, ALL HUMAN, copied, pasted, banal, hackneyed, uninspired, plagiarized piece of poop story?

Sorry, now I have to collect myself. Whoo, I'm good now.

Try adding some OOMPH to your story. Include some sports! I've never heard of a fencing fanfic or a female/male wrestling story! Ok, maybe you're not a sports person, that's ok, then what are _your_ interests, as a writer. Art? Science? Marine life? Maybe you love the country of Bulgaria! Write something about that, and incorporate the characters into that, not the plot into the characters. James Patterson (bless him) is an insanely talented, creative and generous writer for giving us fanfictioners plenty to work with. Iggy and Gazzy can easily become scientists, astronomers, heck, even _suicide bombers_ for heaven's sake. Max can be a model, street fighter, athlete, business CEO extraordinaire. Angel… if you can't think of _something_ to do with angel, you need some creativity shot into you, pronto.

**TIP:** only write a story on a topic you are familiar with, so you don't constantly have to be doing research.

Moving on off of that…_stressful_ topic, I would like to give y'all a brief lesson on creating a plot.

BEWARE! BEFORE YOU READ THE BELOW INFORMATION, KNOW THAT THIS _**DOES NOT APPLY TO ALL STORIES!**_

Now, if you've passed middle school, then you probably know there are 5 major parts to a good story: the exposition (introducing the **characters, setting, etc.); the rising action (events that lead up to the big BANG); the climax (the 'big BANG'); the falling action (the smoke clears, realizations are made, DUN DUN DUUUUNNN); and finally, the resolution (happy/sad finish, ending the story).

**-I will probably make an entire chapter on character development and establishing setting

Now ideally, each of these components would be AT LLEEEAASSSTT one or two chapters, preferably 3-4 chapters, but that also depends on how long your chapters are.

Exposition:

This is probably the most important part of your story, because after this part, we should know most of your characters, unless more come in the rising action and who the protagonist and the antagonist are. But you might want to leave more of that to the rising action. Make sure we know where this is taking place, when, and the theme of your story. If you're story is about Max winning a swimming competition and she hasn't even touched the water when you're in your rising action, well, then you need to fix that NOW DON'T YOU?

Rising Action:

DIS IS DA GOOOOD SHTUFF! It's the telling off Lissa, the 'oohhh buurns' truly the thing that differentiates every story from everyone else. This is leading up to the climax, so but the time the climax rolls around, make sure we know exactly what is going on! Do not, I repeat DO NOT _ever _confuse your audience. _If_ you have a good rising action, that almost guarantees a good climax, which guarantees a good falling action, which guarantees a good resolution, which guarantees a KICK-ASS STORY!

Climax:

This should be the **slap in the face** that your reader wants. It's gotta (or should) be a POW! ZAP! BOOM! KA-POW! SHIZAM! Make it interesting, and allow it to flow with the rest of your story. The climax is the turning point in your plot, and usually, if the rest of your story is happy, your climax should be something bad happening, and vise versa.

Falling Action:

What happens after the big slap in the face? You feel the sting, and you probably do something about being hit. Don't let your characters fall flat after the climax, because you will lose your readers. Something should be happening at all times during your story that adds to your characters being developed, setting, action, or internal character realization.

Resolution:

No one likes a story with a sucky ending. I don't care if you have the best climax, rising and falling action ever! If your ending does not deliver, then readers are left with a negative feel to your story, and they're not going to want to read anything else by you. You have to end on a note that ties everything together. Only leave loose ends in a story if either a) you're making a sequel or b) you _want_ to end with a cliffhanger because it matches the genre of your story (mystery, suspense, etc.).


	5. character development and plot

**(A/N AC (), I totally agree with you, and does that person even speak English? Who says that? And I know from experience that you don't need fancy writing classes to get better, the best way to get better at writing is to WRITE. Write every day if you have to! Also ATTENTION MY LOVELY VIEWERS, I have seen some people do this and my L.A. teacher suggests that I do it; I will now be listing some songs that I listen to when I'm writing, because 'it will help people who are hesitant to begin to write get in the zone' says my teacher… Thank you to my reviewers, AC (), FancyPenguin, shadowgirl1171, FangIsFexellent, and WingedArcher1)**

Now, as I mentioned before, I will write on how to enhance character development and setting. But first, I need to answer some questions and explain why it is important; I think I'll do this from now on in my chapters.

Why do we need character development?

The main reason for having character development is because if/when your audience creates a bond with a person in your story; they connect and want to read more. The goal of making vulnerable characters is to make each being in your story have their own unique personality and more than just pixels on a computer screen. Now, I know I am guilty of being a bit… ok VERY bad at doing this in my previous stories (namely, Return Of Superdude) but I have been practicing it ever since in my essays and short stories. If you can do this, you can make a WOOONNDDUUURRRFULL story!

As an author, you need to make a decision about who will be a static character- someone whose general attitude/personality/feelings toward something never change, and who will be a dynamic character- someone whose attitude changes toward something. For example, I am sure about 80% of you are familiar with the _basic_ plotline of Harry Potter. So, an example of a static character would be professor Umbridge, because she never changes. A dynamic character would be Snape because *SPOILER ALERT* he goes from being bitter and vain to caring about Harry and giving his life for him.

Character development (CD) is CRUTIAL when making…intimate relationships between characters. If Max just pops in and instantly falls in love with Fang and they kiss by the end of the chapter, NO ONE CARES. It's boring, overdone, and there's no tension. The key to relationships is tension. Anger. FURY, if you will. Let's step out of just the Maximum Ride world and just speak generally. If two people meet in one day, and end up...uuhh…_together_ by the end of the night, you wouldn't really expect them to last. You think the girl is some not-nice words and give them maybe, let's say a week, until you know they'll break up. Something is just plain missing from relationships if everything is always peachy and always happy. Think of _any_ relationship you have in your life. With your goldfish, your mom, dad, landlord, neighbor, anyone! It doesn't matter! I am 150% sure that you have had a fight with them at one point. Maybe your fish made your room stink, your mom wouldn't let you hang out with your friend, or your neighbor's dog left you a surprise on your doorstep.

**NOTE: **REMEMBER IF IGGY IS BLIND OR NOT IN YOUR STORY! Don't have it in his perspective describing the kitchen he can't even see! (no offense Iggy, you know I love you )

To review:

-connect character to your audience

-static and dynamic characters

-tension!

Why do we need setting?

Setting helps the reader understand the situation that the characters are in. usually, stories are set in the present, so you could toy around with the economy, AIDS, world hunger in your plot… but who said it had to be in the present? Why not have it set in the great depression? 70's? French revolution? But with the year thing, you must be aware of it. You wouldn't have a bunch of mansions in the middle of the great depression, you wouldn't have people wearing skinny jeans and tank tops and call them hip in the 70's, have them be in bell bottoms and platform shoes!

Setting establishes: when, where, what. So let's break this down into some sections, shall we?

WHEN: think year: what was happening during that year, how it will affect your story? Be aware of how time moves in your story, every day has morning, noon, night. What happens during those times?

WHERE: planet, country, city, suburb, town, house, room, person. That's what place is. Another variable people usually never play around with, because way too many are placed in Arizona. What about Chicago? Toronto? Paris? Beijing? Tel Aviv? Sydney? Barcelona? Buenos Aires? COME ON, PEOPLE.

WHAT: Now break it down. Let's take Chicago. South side? North side? Cubs or Sox? Deep dish pizza? ARE YOU FEELING ME?

To review:

-where

-what

-when

-what's trendy?

**(A/N Waiting- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, (don't laugh) Beautiful Soul-Jessie McCartney, First Date-Blink-182, 1985-Bowling For Soup, Big Machine-Goo Goo Dolls, FEEL-GOOD SONGS!)**


	6. meh fave: sooooong fiiics not la di da

**(A/N I Have to break something to you guys, I'm running out of things to rant about (I view this as a good thing)…I have about three more chapters' worth of criteria, but if you feel like you could add ANYTHING, tell me because it WILL be used! Also, I have to say, I had a basketball tournament this weekend, and I think James Patterson looked at a certain #33 and instantly thought of the character Lissa. The makeup, the way she walked with her butt shoved in the air, everything…Thank you to all my reviewers (you know who you are, you wonderful people)!)**

This chapter is a very special chapter, because it talks about one of my personal favorite things ever, SONGFICS! Now, for those of you who are not aware with song-fictions, (you're missing out) a brief summary is that they are any story that either a) are a usually short, simple fanfic that revolves around a song that is usually sung by a character, to another. Or b), any fanfiction (no matter how long) that has a song in it.

**NOTE: ** always, _always, __**ALWAYS**_ include the name of the song and the artist in that chapter. I don't care where, just do it. There are two reasons for this. 1.)for people like me that want the song playing as I read the passage, and can't find it on YouTube by typing in the lyrics because there are TEN BILLION SONGS about love & loss. 2.) On the microscopic chance that you run into copyright issues.

First order of business: INCORPERATE THE SONG.

It is completely useless to have some random lyrics smacked on the page just to be able to call your story a songfic. You have to relate the song somehow into your story. The artists worked hard to make that song, so don't just go throwing it around like a hot potato game.

Lemme break it dawn fo ya. Let's take the song Futures by Jimmy Eat World (if you don't know that song, then look it up, because you should). Let's say, in the completely plausible chance, that Fang is listening to this song somewhere, or-even better- he's in a band that is playing this song. Max then is at the bar/club/restaurant that they are playing at. This will be from Max's POV, while she is listening to the song. Unless you, as the author, specifically choose it to be used as background music, make the song count. You should only use the song in your story if it benefits it in any way. So, Max is listening to the song (you should include the lyrics in your story) and…SO WHAT? You have to make it matter. Make her, let's say, contemplate her future while she listens to the song. This is a great way of ESTABLISHING CHARACTER, because we find out her opinion which you can change to make her a dynamic character. See how everything comes together? Then she looks up, see's Fang, and BAM there's your introduction to Fang. Now we know what Max thinks of her future, probably what her situation is, we know that Fang is in a band, he sings, and likely we know a bit of a physical description.

Second order of business: CREATE THE RIGHT MOOD.

_Do not _put Bullet for My Valentine or Slipknot in a scene that is soft and quiet, like dozing off during school. Same goes for Taylor Swift and a wrestling match. An excellent example of a song that creates mood is Divine Intervention by Taking Back Sunday (I will not tell you again- LOOK IT UP). This is GOLD if you want a slightly romantic scene while not making it mushy-gushy, yet maintaining a beat so the scene isn't slow and dreary. Remember that it is more than just the lyrics that make a song. Do you think Drop It like It's Hot by Snoop Dog (I know, dramatic change of genres) would be _half as catchy_ or 'fly' if it didn't have the whistling and the sick beat? NO.

**TIP: **Even if you don't include a song in your story, it is a good exercise (if you're a music fanatic like me) to try to find a song, on your iTunes, iPod, 8tracks, whatever, that relates to _any _situation. I will tell you right now that I have playlists on my computer that say 'happy', 'sleepy', and even 'angsty bliss' to fit the mood that I'm in.

Third and final order of business: GENRES and TECHNICALITIES (lyrics, song titles, choosing the right song, etc.)

Let's break down some genres shall we? (Just a FEW examples) A rough estimate of the emotions/scenarios that are associated with that variety are at the beginning of description, then examples of some popular bands in that category follow.

POP: can be happy or sad, and has the most range of emotions of all the genres. This is mostly charts, so Miley Cyrus, Maroon 5, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, etc. will do just fine.

METAL: usually angry or angst-ridden, it's hardcore stuff, man, like Bullet for My Valentine, Breaking Benjamin, H.I.M., etc.

CLASSICAL: calming, cool, refined, what they teach you in music class, Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Edvarg Greig (is that how you spell it?)

COUNTRY: usually has something about trucks, girlfriends, Alabama, and their '6 string', can be used in down south BBQ's, Keith Urban, Tim McGraw, etc.

CLASSIC ROCK: altogether empowering, you SHOULD KNOW THESE PEOPLE; Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, Red Hot Chili Peppers, etc.

PUNK/PUNK ROCK: rebellion and anger, good stuff is usually from the late 80's-early 00's; Sum 41, Blink-182, Bouncing Souls, etc.

ALTERNATIVE: second largest range of the genres, the next three genres can be controversial; The Killers, Jimmy Eat World, Cage the Elephant, etc.

ALTERNATIVE POP: usually about a girl/boy they're in looooove with, kind of all have the same hair; Mayday Parade, All Time Low, The Maine, etc.

INDIE: can be about whatever the heck you want, the most hipster genre; Modest Mouse, Arctic Monkeys, Ludo, etc.

HIPHOP/RAP: usually about bad times or dancing, gangsta moosic; Snoop Dog, Wiz Kalifa, Kanye West, Ciara, etc.

**NOTE: ** if you are looking for more good dancing music, dubstep is a good go-to.

You should know about websites like metrolyrics, sing365, and elyrics at this point if you are writing songfics. Song titles must be used properly, so don't just take the most commonly said phrase and make it the title. I'm confident that you all know this stuff.

**(A/N lots from the Punk goes Pop/Punk goes Acoustic albums, This Is Letting Go-Rise Against, Money In The Bank-Swizz Beatz, 1985-Bowling for Soup, the Humpty Dance- Digital Underground, again, if you have ANY IDEAS or COMPLAINTS, just click that wonderful little button down there vvv)**


	7. MOTHER OF ALL CHAPTERS

**(I really do love my reviewers, all you amazing, kind, superb, glorious, and magnificent people. Creds to joloco311, FancyPenguin, The12thcookie, Winged Archer1, AC, FangIsFexcellent, shadowgirl711, iizninja, , and my blog is better than yours, for the new feedback and GOING ALL THE WAAAY!)**

This is going to be the MOTHER OF ALL CHAPTERS because this includes the topics below:

Updating

Reviews

Author's notes

Kidnapping characters

Txt tlkin

Itty bitty clichés (you'll see what I mean)

AAAARE YOOOOU REEDAAAAYYYY? Here we go.

**UPDATING**

WOO HOO YEAH! THE BEST PART! Just kidding. No seriously, you can stop jumping up and down. I GET THAT YOU'RE HAPPY. I know I'll get a mix of responses to this, BUT it must be done. Now, I know I'm not the most consistent updater out there, but I try to stick with this story as much as possible, but unless I get new ideas from YOU GUYS, I probably will be slow to update. CONSIDER THIS YOUR WARNING.

With that out of the way, I have to make a few ideas clear:

1) Be dedicated to your story

THINK: before you write a story, make a goal for yourself for when you want your chapters to be up. For those of you with a lot of free time, this might be every other day or every two or three days**. I know this may be difficult for those of us who have jam-packed schedules, so then I would suggest a more reasonable goal, like once or twice a month. If you know yourself well (like I hope you do), you know if you can or can't keep up with a goal like that. And my theory is that if you can't promise yourself that you will at least _try_ to update once or twice every four weeks, you should question weither or not you want to be committed to a story. If not, then _don't write the story_. I'm trying to not be a jerk, but it's the truth, not to mention the mature thing to do.

**HOWEVER: in the wise words of iizninja: "its okay not to have an update every week. Actually, if someone updates too frequently it makes it less of a treat. Like if you ate ice cream every day for a year you'd get sick of it and probably hate everything to do with ice cream."

**TIP: **if you know that you may have trouble updating, do what I do and write in advance. I had the file for my introduction on my computer at least a month in advance of when I actually published it. Be like the movie directors, and write in advance. This means that you can build up your story until about the third chapter before you start putting it out into . Then, publish your first chapter, and then in a week or two, you can write the fourth chapter but issue the second chapter for your dedicated fans to read. This also comes in handy if you notice that two months have gone by and you haven't updated your story. Just whip out one of your reserve chapters and BAM the third chapter is out! Make sense?

2) Size of your chapters is crucial

Now, especially for this topic, I cannot say that my guidelines are _always 100% true_. You just have to be the judge of what's best for your story.

If you think your reader has a solid block of time to read a chapter where the scroll bar is the size of a toenail clipping, then you have to have a big ol' bucket of ice-cold REALITY splashed all up in your face. WE ARE IN A RECESSION, PEOPLE. I know a whole lotta people that share 2 computers within one family. Even if you are blessed enough to have your own laptop, you should not make others have to be confronted with the inconvenience of having to re-read 10 pages worth of story in the same chapter until the new stuff starts.

When your chapters are shorter, you can then make more of them in one sitting by making a few medium-sized ones instead of one morbidly obese chapter. *SEE: UPDATING*

However, there is a massive difference between a few medium sized chapters and a bunch of two-paragraph useless chapters. Realize that we readers often sort stories by how long they are, (at least I do), and NOT how many chapters there are. In a nutshell: Quality, not quantity.

**TIP:** If you notice that all of your chapters are as long as or shorter than my introduction chapter, then you should seriously consider smashing two of your chapters together.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON _**ENTIRE**_ CHAPTERS DEDICATED TO AUTHORS NOTES. (Actually, please do, *SEE: AUTHOR'S NOTES*)

**REVIEWS**

I'll keep this section nice and short, because there's not _that_ much to say. However, this is still quite a critical piece in the system of a happy MRFC. Now, as most of us know, we have the flamers, the goody two-shoes, and the hardcore honest people that make a difference in your story (this is the category all of my reviewers fall under, wink wink). I frankly don't get the point of flamers, because all they do is incoherently rant about how 'the story sucks' and 'you're a terrible writer'. But, you know, whatever floats their boat. Fortunately, I have no experience with severe flames, but if you would like to tear down my sorry bottom on this chapter, feel free. If you are a truly determined writer, you don't give a flying fart about a flame. BUUUUTTTT please, notice the difference between a flame and a constructive review that points out flaws.

A good review gives one or two positive areas of the story/writing style, and usually informs you of a weak point in it. This hopefully ends in a motivational phrase to motivate the flow of the writer's creative juices. If you notice you get a piece of advice, then for all that's good in this world TAKE IT. No ifs, ands or buts.

Remember how I made you guys say 'I will not make myself look bad' in my other chapter'? That seemed to work pretty well, so here's another one: "I WILL ONLY USE REVIEWS TO BETTER A STORY". HA! You thought you could get away without saying it, did you? Wrong. Say it. Out loud. Oh, jeez, nevermind, you guys are turning me into a monster.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES (A/N)**

Let's see a show of hands as to who actually will take 2+ minutes of their precious life to read an entire page/chapter of author's notes. Yeah, exactly. So WHY ARE THEY WRITTEN? Good question, grasshopper. Sensei StupidIsMyMiddleName thinks it may be for a few reasons:

1) People feel guilty

I understand this, really, I do. Writers feel bad about abandoning their story for the past 6 months and they tell you how school and sports and family business and internet problems have kept them away from this lovely website we share. But see below: WE DON'T CARE. I know I'm being redundant, but I know for a fact it still will not get through some people's thick heads. When I wait for a story to be updated, I don't want to get that e-mail and see only an author's note about how they have no time to write. In fact, I just want to smash my head against my desk because they NOTIMETOWRITE.

2) Writers think we actually CARE about their personal life

We don't need to know that you had the best flavor of ice cream ever yesterday. I'm sorry, I know I'm being rude, but it's true. We MR fans (for the most part) don't know James Patterson's plans for this weekend, why should we know yours? Yeah. We shouldn't. Plus, whatever happened to internet safety? Don't go around blabbing about how you're going to be in New York with your family at a certain hotel in a certain room at a certain time. Plus, no one wants another one of those school assemblies.

**KIDNAPPING CHARACTERS**

OMGOMGOMG you kidnapped a character! LET ALL GO CRAZY AND SMASH OUR FACES AGAINST OUR COMPUTER SCREENS AND FLIIIIP OOUUUTT! Sadly, and contrary to many people's beliefs, we do not react like this when we browse stories. In fact, we are almost all guaranteed to skip it and just scroll right along. There are quite a few reasons WE ARE NOT FOOLED 1) we are (for the most part, some people I'm not so sure about...) all above the age of five. 2) We know, even though it kills us to say this, that MAXIMUM RIDE IS SCIENCE-FICTION. Let me repeat that: FICTION. As in NOT REAL. And finally 3) unless you are also a genetically engineered mutant, you wouldn't stand a chance against 6 ninja-like winged angst-ridden teenagers. I don't care how cool you think you are when you cackle MWAHAHAHAHA, you are no match for them.

**TXT TLKIN**

This is an excellent example of _not following_ Nike's instructions. DON'T do it. Be professional, please. At least in your story cuz I dnt care if u rite lik dis on a pm or in ur reviews.

**ITTY BITTY CLICHÉ'S**

We all know them, and they add no ZAP to a story the following is a much-too-long list of overused phrases/sayings. They immediately label you as unoriginal and dull.

-Fang's eyes are always described as 'onyx'

-Lissa's a slut whose skirt doesn't cover her butt.

-Max's chocolate chip cookie obsession

-the wing necklace that Max oh-so conveniently always has.

-Max's abusive relationship with her father and/or boyfriend

-Max has to raise Gazzy/Angel even though she is just their sister.

-Max 'burning water' or 'making cereal inedible'

-Gazzy insists in farting profusely (thanks FlYegurl) in small, cramped area, everyone clears out of the room.

-the one freaking line in the first book no one forgets because fang comes ninjaciously out of nowhere behind Max and she yells "STOP THAT" he says: "what, breathing?"

-Max way-to-easily giving into a makeover by Nudge and Angel in which they make her look 'ZOMG SOOOO HAWT'

-Nudge saying ZOMG

-Angel's hair is like a halo around her head.

_**No one can describe this better than FlYegurl in her story **_**All Is Well In Cliché Land**_**. You really should check it out, because I literally laughed out loud reading this. Read it. READ IT. READIT.**_

**(A/N Sleeping In-The Postal Service, We All Want the Same Thing-Kevin Michael, It's All Gone Quiet [The Week That Was Mix]-Snow Patrol)**


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